Chuck Norris is god.
 

Got this in an email thought it was pretty sweet so im posting it........:D

Chuck Norris doesn't actually breathe. He takes air hostage.

A Vampire once bit Chuck Norris. Twelve hours later, the vampire turned into Chuck Norris.

According to Einstien's Theory Of Relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

America didn't bomb Hiroshima. They dropped Chuck Norris out of a plane and he punched the ground.

Chuck Norris went back in time to stop JFK's assassination. He stopped every bullet with his beard, and JFK's head exploded in amazement.

Chuck Norris doesn't shave he kicks himself in the face because only Chuck Norris can cut Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you cant see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldnt stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian:lolsign:

Oh God... those are awesome..

wow...so whats up with chuck nowdays? i seem to see a lot of him in forums all of a sudden, oh well...i believe in van daminism

That's awesome lol.

haha, I honestly can't stop laughing right now. I think I just woke my wife up.