funny jokes *read at own risk
 

Q: What's blue and ****s old people?
A: Hypothermia

Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her.

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Q: What do 54,000 abused women every year have in common?
A: They don't ****ing listen.

Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhoea

Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.

Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.

Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least
13 years old.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.

Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand ...

Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

these things are funny keep them comming

here's one from me

Child sent to bed

A small boy is sent to bed by his father...

[Five minutes later]

"Da-ad..."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

[Five minutes later]

"Da-aaaad..."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"

[Five minutes later]

"Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..."

"WHAT??!!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

bahahaha... :lolatu:

kids..

[QUOTE=Mighty_Blondie]Q:
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her.



Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
QUOTE]

:haha: :haha: :haha:

Rolls her own tampons.. thats hilarious

Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least
13 years old.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.



hahahahah some of those are a little low