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NAACP Introduces Legislation Expanding Black History Month to 35 Days

Written by Jimmy Wellington

In the modern calendar, February is the shortest month of the year, normally clocking in at 28 days. The fact that it was also chosen to be Black History Month is seen to many in the black community as another event in a long series of injustices.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) is determined to put an end to the travesty once and for all. The group is introducing legislation in Congress to expand February, and thusly Black History Month, to 35 days.

"We are seeking day reparations for the amount of time we have not been able to celebrate our heritage and culture during February, since it for some reason has only 28 days, at least 48 hours shorter than any other month!", said a NAACP spokesman, agreeing to speak with the condition of anonymity.

Many black Americans still feel oppressed, and that they're treated unequally by a government who, as recently as 142 years ago, allowed them to be sold as slaves.

The bill also calls for more National Holidays recognizing prominent black people in US History. They propose combining several existing holidays into new, joint holidays, much in the way that Washington and Lincoln's birthdays were combined to make room for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

President's Day, Columbus Day and Christmas Day will be combined into a new holiday called "White Guys Day". Memorial Day, Veterans Day and Thanksgiving will now be known as "Thankful Day". This will free up 4 national holidays for Harriet Beecher Stowe Day, Jackie Robinson Day, Malcolm X Day and Will Smith Day.

In a statement, the NAACP also promises to keep up the fight against segregation. Pointing to such successes as Black Entertainment Television, the group states that by creating separate groups that are equally as entertaining as their contemporaries, they are well on their way to overcoming.

The "AWRAP" (Association of White Rappers) also introduced a bill Monday seeking to be allowed to use the "N" word without fear of violence, if not always, at least Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,