Police comedy.
 

Who says the police don't have a sense of humor? The following 15
Police Comments were taken off actual Dallas Police car videos and
distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD Public Relations Officer:
#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K. I'm warning you that when you run
that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen Pal, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big WERE those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "Excuse me ma'am? Say you thought we didn't give tickets to pretty
women? Well, you're right, we don't. Now, sign here."