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TRUE STORY!

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and \$12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

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Vampire Bats

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.

OK, follow me, he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him tongues hanging out for blood.

"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good!" said the first bat, "Because I sure didn't"

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