Guy rules...
02-02-2005, 05:48 PM
#1
GTcars - Post God !
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: so. cali
Posts: 6,012
Rep Power: 896 
Guy rules...
We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These
are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it
down We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides!
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us
to act like soap opera guys.
1... If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Deer huntin', Turkey huntin', shotgun
patterning,
baseball or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. If you have any questions, please refer to rule #1.
Thank you for reading this... Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These
are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it
down We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides!
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us
to act like soap opera guys.
1... If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Deer huntin', Turkey huntin', shotgun
patterning,
baseball or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. If you have any questions, please refer to rule #1.
Thank you for reading this... Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.
02-03-2005, 12:08 AM
#9
Post Wench
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Nemacolin, PA
Posts: 10,392
Rep Power: 971
Originally Posted by NoRiceInside
really awesome. women in relationships are way too selfish.
Those are good, but there's a womens version, too. (i posted them both here before
).... most of those rules don't even apply to this household. 
Man, I love being married to a guy who hates all sports.
02-03-2005, 12:23 AM
#11
Post Wench
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Nemacolin, PA
Posts: 10,392
Rep Power: 971
Originally Posted by JesasaurusRex
You sure hes headerosexual?
02-03-2005, 01:12 PM
#15
GTcars - Post God !
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Macomb, Michigan
Posts: 6,032
Rep Power: 877 
I agree with your husband, Danielle, I just can't get into sports... unless it's the NHL and the Red Wings are in the cup finals. Or.. if there's a fight like the Pistons, I'll switch to watch the fight and then it gets boring agian, time to switch.
Those were ******* great. So great, in fact, I'm posting them on my site sometime today.