Laughable Truisms
04-14-2006, 03:05 AM
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Laughable Truisms
Here's a few facts that made me laugh when I read them.
1.) I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of Natural Causes.
2.) Never take life too seriously.......nobody gets out alive anyway.
3.) There are two kinds of pedestrians:.......the quick and the Dead.
4.) Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5.) Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospital dying of NOTHING.
6.) When I feel blue,........I start breathing again.
7.) All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8.) In the 60's, people took acid to make the world seem weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
9.) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
10.) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
11.) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face, he gets mad at you.......but when you take him for a ride in your car, he sticks his head out the window?
And last but certainly not least..................
12.) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
............
1.) I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of Natural Causes.
2.) Never take life too seriously.......nobody gets out alive anyway.
3.) There are two kinds of pedestrians:.......the quick and the Dead.
4.) Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5.) Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospital dying of NOTHING.
6.) When I feel blue,........I start breathing again.
7.) All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
8.) In the 60's, people took acid to make the world seem weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
9.) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
10.) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
11.) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face, he gets mad at you.......but when you take him for a ride in your car, he sticks his head out the window?
And last but certainly not least..................
12.) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
............
