Rep Power: 922

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to

satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to


take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all


dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that *****
knows I'm smarter than her.

 
Rep Power: 0

Haha, now that's how you do it. We've all had women do that to us.

 
Rep Power: 967

oh **** son. thats AWESOME! sticky this ****.

 
Rep Power: 783

I've seen this before, but its damn funny regardless.

 
Rep Power: 822

Hahahahaha.... oh my god. I need to remember that.

 
Rep Power: 727

beautiful - and the last line made it x2 better hahahahaah

 
Rep Power: 817

It was pretty funny. I've gotten it before in e-mails countless times, mind you.

 
Rep Power: 0

bwhahaha thats hilarious

 
Rep Power: 822

wow that was great hahahahahaha

 
Rep Power: 785

aww man, that last sentence said it all! that was so funny!

 
Rep Power: 1093

haha old joke, but still one of the best out there.

 
Rep Power: 789

Yes... Thats How the pros do it.

 
Rep Power: 935

hahaha