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Relationship problems need advice!

Old 12-12-2006 | 09:19 PM
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Haha... I missed this thread, but I'm with paar.

Punch her in the ovary.
Old 12-12-2006 | 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Phate
Here is where it gets complicated. Her mom and I are good friends also. And she tells her mother everything. This girl for some reason still thinks we are a 'thing' but when I ask her stuff like "why she has 'in a relationship" on her myspace, she says "just so guys wont keep hitting on me". Shes obcessive, clingy, and worst of all, CRAZILY jealous. When we dated she hated i'd hang out with some of my female friends when she wasnt around. (I have more female friends than male friends actually... alot more)

I have a few people who I know want to date / have a fling with me. I might just pick the best one and have her find out. I just hate drama, and this is gonna cause a ton regardless.
ALWAYS stay on good terms with her parents. Parents are generally objective enough to know that, if you were nice and pleasant with them, there's always another side to the story she tells them when you finally break it off.

In your situation, you're not looking to avoid drama, you can't... at this point, you're looking at damage control.

Originally Posted by MetalliCamaro
We should have a Sticky, Titled, "Women Problems? Ask James."
Do it.

Originally Posted by gray89vert
hahaha sticky fo sho. ive been in the same situation as some of you except i was the other person who didn't realize the girl didn't like me as much as i thought. lol it turned out good actually...she's like one of my best friends now and i can talk to her about anything. now my problem is i like my friends sister....
Ooh, dating a friend's sister. That can be tough. First, you need to take a step back and decide if you just want to bang her and move on, or are honestly and truly interested in pursuing anything with her.

If it's the first option, it's not worth it. You'll lose a friend for a lay, and that's a terrible thing to do.

If it's the latter, then you gotta level with your buddy and tell him what's going on, but ONLY after talking to her and figuring out a plan on 'how' to tell him. It's best if you AND her talk to him together. But you need to figure out if she even likes you first, which it sounds like you don't know.
Old 12-12-2006 | 09:55 PM
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OMG We Got a Dr. Phil/James on our hands


LOL, Man James.. You are good, It all makes sense.. geez youve had you days, havent you?
Old 12-12-2006 | 10:02 PM
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You don't know the half of it man, I should post some of the 'events' that have occurred to me.

I need my own forum, that's what I need.

We'll call it the "What the heck??" forum. Anything to do with understanding women, or social aspects in life, post it there and I can answer. Plus I can post the stories that have happened to me. There's some silly ones.
Old 12-12-2006 | 10:04 PM
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odd... Im 'taking a break' from my gf as of now... She didnt take it so well. I feel like a jack@ss, but at the same time btter.
Old 12-12-2006 | 10:15 PM
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get her drunk and have her get with a friend of yours that yuo dont like much .....
Old 12-12-2006 | 10:20 PM
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...well since were all spillin it. Me and steph arent doing sooooo perfect right now. I kinda got scared to move my entire life away to where she gets stationed. But I also know any more long distance would SUCK. I love her... but its just gettin kinda tough round here. Anyway... there's my situation.

If its meant to be its gonna work out...
Old 12-12-2006 | 10:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Amurican_Muscle
...well since were all spillin it. Me and steph arent doing sooooo perfect right now. I kinda got scared to move my entire life away to where she gets stationed. But I also know any more long distance would SUCK. I love her... but its just gettin kinda tough round here. Anyway... there's my situation.

If its meant to be its gonna work out...
When our parents were our age, it wasn't uncommon for people to get married at 18, 19, 20, etc. And more importantly, they'd last. Divorce rate was very low. Today, things are different. Often, you'll go through many partners before you find 'the one' that you'll settle down with.

This is a turning point in your life and you've got some choices to make. Do you follow the girl you love, risking... basically everything you've ever known... for her?... even knowing what you know about people, relationships, and human nature? Or do you say goodbye, but on good terms, and go on with your life?

I can't answer this for you, but I can provide some insight.

I was in a similar situation, but slightly flipped around. It was either stay in Winnipeg and go long term with the girl I was with... or pick up and move to Calgary, and be successful, happy (albeit a little lonely at first), and move forward with my life.

I looked at my life. I'm 21. What are the odds that this girl and I are going to get married? Go places? Have kids? What did I decide?

Well let me put it to you this way... I'm 21... I don't live in Winnipeg, and life goes on. And I'm happy.

If you're willing to put it all on the line for love, go for it. Maybe where ever she gets stationed, you'll like it better there anyway.
Old 12-12-2006 | 11:04 PM
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Its weird, but I already feel ready to find someone to spend my life with. Im only 20, but I want kids... Dunno why cause I couldnt afford it, but I just want to have kids haha.

Thats why Im trying to end this relationship I have now. I know its going nowhere, and I cant see myself getting married to her. Life has its challenges.
Old 12-12-2006 | 11:13 PM
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We actually just found out where she gets stationed. Guam. She gets stationed in Guam. It's cool... but so far away. Guam is pretty badass... but holy crap would my entire life change, in every way. Steph said in Guam the only way I could even go down to be with her is if we were married first, and my god, I'm already confused. I am so torn dude it sucks. I know I wouldn't have a problem finding someone else if I had too. But I mean I've always considered myself a pretty into-love guy... And though this girl is immature as **** sometimes, she has some amazing things about her, and I'm not sure if I would hate my decision if I thought let her go...

Hmm... hearing things like your situation helps.

Haha, I keep writing like 3 sentances, then deleting them. I give up. Enlighten me Dr. Torkdog.
Old 12-12-2006 | 11:14 PM
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Originally Posted by paarman97maro
Its weird, but I already feel ready to find someone to spend my life with. Im only 20, but I want kids... Dunno why cause I couldnt afford it, but I just want to have kids haha.

Thats why Im trying to end this relationship I have now. I know its going nowhere, and I cant see myself getting married to her. Life has its challenges.

Good job realizing its not going anywhere... And getting out before its too late. Thats what I need right now. To see 5 years in the future...
Old 12-12-2006 | 11:20 PM
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ovary punch ftw
Old 12-12-2006 | 11:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Amurican_Muscle
We actually just found out where she gets stationed. Guam. She gets stationed in Guam. It's cool... but so far away. Guam is pretty badass... but holy crap would my entire life change, in every way. Steph said in Guam the only way I could even go down to be with her is if we were married first, and my god, I'm already confused. I am so torn dude it sucks. I know I wouldn't have a problem finding someone else if I had too. But I mean I've always considered myself a pretty into-love guy... And though this girl is immature as **** sometimes, she has some amazing things about her, and I'm not sure if I would hate my decision if I thought let her go...

Hmm... hearing things like your situation helps.

Haha, I keep writing like 3 sentances, then deleting them. I give up. Enlighten me Dr. Torkdog.
Guam's a bit of a change. And if you'd have to get married before being able to go with her, I hate to say it, but I think your relationship is coming to a close.

Do you honestly feel ready to get married? Not just taking into account your age, but do you really feel like you could get married and STAY married to THIS girl? Sometimes it's the idea of doing something that appeals more than actually doing it. When it gets down to the nitty gritty, you start to realize exactly what you're about to do, and it snaps you back into reality right quick.

Paar, I felt the same way for a while. Hell, I used to think "Jesus, if I was a single dad, imagine how awesome that'd be... chicks dig babies...." then I came back to Planet: Earth and realized how stupid that was. I agree with finding someone to spend the rest of your life with, but how soon would you actually commit? I mean, I'd like to find someone to settle down with here in Calgary, but it would be a while before I'd pop the question, or even live together.

At our age, you kinda need to roll with it. See where things go. Because forcing anything is a surefire way to screw it all up.
Old 12-13-2006 | 12:15 AM
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Tork... You are a good guy. I don't feel truly ready to get married, but I feel ready that I could live with her... and maybe be engaged... But its like we dont even get an engagement together if I do stay with her. Engagement is like the final process... to make sure this is it ... right? ... Well, I wouldn't get that. We'd have to get married and just go for it. She would be able to come down and visit me once and awhile... but not enough to make sure that we are ready for the long haul. But I do feel that I could stay married to this girl... even if it was horrible... I would do my best to work it all out... I don't ever want to have to divorce. Yeah, like you said... I just got snapped back into reality... And I don't know what to do. I really really really love this girl and can see myself married to her LATER. Just right now... I'm not feeling it.

I got a buddy who is 34, not married (never been), got a sweet bachelors house, a huge garage, so many hobbies, and all the toys he wants. He is happy and for the longest time I wanted to end up like him... And it still seems like it could be fun. The only bad thing I keep hearing about from him is the fact there are no more good cute single girls left at that age... Which would suck if you couldnt find one. So... I just don't know.
Old 12-13-2006 | 12:21 AM
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Originally Posted by paarman97maro
Its weird, but I already feel ready to find someone to spend my life with. Im only 20, but I want kids... Dunno why cause I couldnt afford it, but I just want to have kids haha.

Thats why Im trying to end this relationship I have now. I know its going nowhere, and I cant see myself getting married to her. Life has its challenges.
you're crazy. we're young. whenever you want kids....look at chech lol :banghead:

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