New Police Sayings
Thread Starter
~~ Hardcore Newb ~~
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 42
Rep Power: 777 
New Police Sayings
The following were taken off actual police car videos around the country.
"Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey do-do."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife will get a toaster oven."
"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And the best one is....
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
"Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey do-do."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife will get a toaster oven."
"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And the best one is....
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
:thumbsup
Average GTcars Poster
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 549
Rep Power: 787
My fav cop saying is when they put their hand on the top of your head , and say " watch your head" as they help you get into the back of their car . Then bang the side of your head into the door frame or roof pillar, accidentally of course..77.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
honda video
Honda Videos
0
Sep 9, 2008 03:31 PM
2TONE_93GT
Automotive Pictures & videos
17
Aug 23, 2006 09:30 AM
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)