Relationship problems need advice!
12-13-2006, 12:38 AM
#61
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Originally Posted by Amurican_Muscle
Tork... You are a good guy. 
I don't feel truly ready to get married, but I feel ready that I could live with her... and maybe be engaged... But its like we dont even get an engagement together if I do stay with her. Engagement is like the final process... to make sure this is it ... right? ... Well, I wouldn't get that. We'd have to get married and just go for it. She would be able to come down and visit me once and awhile... but not enough to make sure that we are ready for the long haul. But I do feel that I could stay married to this girl... even if it was horrible... I would do my best to work it all out... I don't ever want to have to divorce. Yeah, like you said... I just got snapped back into reality... And I don't know what to do. I really really really love this girl and can see myself married to her LATER. Just right now... I'm not feeling it.
I don't feel truly ready to get married, but I feel ready that I could live with her... and maybe be engaged... But its like we dont even get an engagement together if I do stay with her. Engagement is like the final process... to make sure this is it ... right? ... Well, I wouldn't get that. We'd have to get married and just go for it. She would be able to come down and visit me once and awhile... but not enough to make sure that we are ready for the long haul. But I do feel that I could stay married to this girl... even if it was horrible... I would do my best to work it all out... I don't ever want to have to divorce. Yeah, like you said... I just got snapped back into reality... And I don't know what to do. I really really really love this girl and can see myself married to her LATER. Just right now... I'm not feeling it.You can't be married to someone 'even if it was horrible'. Why would you do that to yourself? Marriage isn't just about one person... it's about both, and if you think it's horrible... well, you can't lie to yourself forever, it's horrible.
If you're ready to do it later, not now, and you are REQUIRED to do it now or never... I personally would go with never, for my own sake. You said it yourself, you're not ready to get married yet. I don't blame you.
12-13-2006, 12:48 AM
#62
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Yeah... I think you are right. The thing is... its not totaly a now or never... It's a now or deal with distance for another year or so. But I mean, I guess thats better than now or never. But then agian I think about how I can't even be with her at all, I can't see how it would be to be married with her anyway (she will be there for 4 years), AND shes going to want to talk to me alot... Which isnt a bad thing, but sometimes she guilt trips me for gettin off the phone to go to a buddies house to drink or something. I don't wanna spend the next years of my life with my ear attached to the phone either I guess. I guess I'm slowly seeing it. It's just so hard cuz I do love her, but there always could be someone out there who could love me better, and who I would love more in return. Like I guess I don't beleive in how one person out there is made for you... It's more of a gamble to find who is the closest.
Drrr... Sucks. All this is on my mind and I have a final tommarow at 8 AM.
Drrr... Sucks. All this is on my mind and I have a final tommarow at 8 AM.
12-13-2006, 01:01 AM
#63
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Originally Posted by Amurican_Muscle
Yeah... I think you are right. The thing is... its not totaly a now or never... It's a now or deal with distance for another year or so. But I mean, I guess thats better than now or never. But then agian I think about how I can't even be with her at all, I can't see how it would be to be married with her anyway (she will be there for 4 years), AND shes going to want to talk to me alot... Which isnt a bad thing, but sometimes she guilt trips me for gettin off the phone to go to a buddies house to drink or something. I don't wanna spend the next years of my life with my ear attached to the phone either I guess. I guess I'm slowly seeing it. It's just so hard cuz I do love her, but there always could be someone out there who could love me better, and who I would love more in return. Like I guess I don't beleive in how one person out there is made for you... It's more of a gamble to find who is the closest.
Drrr... Sucks. All this is on my mind and I have a final tommarow at 8 AM.
Drrr... Sucks. All this is on my mind and I have a final tommarow at 8 AM.
I'm a family man in my thoughts and wants and needs, but that's just brain damage where I'm concerned. I couldn't put myself through that.
12-13-2006, 01:12 AM
#65
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No one ever said life was gonna be easy. Hell, while this is happening, you're gonna wish you were getting a prostate exam instead of going through this.
But in the end, it's for your own good. It's life.
But in the end, it's for your own good. It's life.
12-13-2006, 01:25 AM
#66
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this is the most though provacative thread weve had in a while.
but I do feel that way sometimes... I just really want a son to do alll the cool things my dad did for me. I just think it would be cool to have a mini me I guess haha.
But then again on the otherside, I could see myself being a bit of a bachelor and having all the sweet *** **** I want.
Oh well, well see what comes. I need to get completely out of my relationship now though... Im just not feeling it anymore. SHe ******* about so much stupid ****, for instance, me going on projectcamaro. Im like **** you, this is something I like to do, so Im gonna do it damn it. then she complains I never take her out, which I really dont, but overall shes too needy and clingy... I jsut cant have that.. too much pressure and stress.
but I do feel that way sometimes... I just really want a son to do alll the cool things my dad did for me. I just think it would be cool to have a mini me I guess haha.
But then again on the otherside, I could see myself being a bit of a bachelor and having all the sweet *** **** I want.
Oh well, well see what comes. I need to get completely out of my relationship now though... Im just not feeling it anymore. SHe ******* about so much stupid ****, for instance, me going on projectcamaro. Im like **** you, this is something I like to do, so Im gonna do it damn it. then she complains I never take her out, which I really dont, but overall shes too needy and clingy... I jsut cant have that.. too much pressure and stress.
12-13-2006, 03:45 AM
#69
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Originally Posted by paarman97maro
SHe ******* about so much stupid ****, for instance, me going on projectcamaro.
I do understand you in the dad thing. I want to be one sometime... Just not too soon. Still want to buy all the toys/cars I want before I settle with a girl like that. But I know, startin a family is definately a must.
12-13-2006, 02:27 PM
#70
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^^^^ I also would like a little boy of my own, it would be cool to have a little mini me running around loving the next generation of camaros, if he is a mustang lover he will be disowned!
this Thread deserves to be a sticky, lol it really does. Very helpful/interesting.. That and every time I come and check it, it has got more and more replies.
this Thread deserves to be a sticky, lol it really does. Very helpful/interesting.. That and every time I come and check it, it has got more and more replies.
12-14-2006, 01:52 AM
#73
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Gather 'round kiddies...
... Uncle James has his own story to tell.
Presently, if any of you saw the thread I made about living near the mountains, you saw the girl I'm presently seeing. Very attractive girl. And she's incredibly nice, pleasant personality, etc.
However, I've found since we've been spending more time together that... well... we have absolutely nothing in common!:
1. I can listen to anything, but I prefer rock music. She listens to Rick Dees Top Forty type stuff (which I am NOT a fan of), and it always seems that her preference will win over mine every time... this is referenced later.
2. I'm a bit of a fun-loving goof, and she seems to be a bit more reserved. Like I said, I had to 'convince' her to pose in front of the stupid bear at the gift shop. She was wondering why I was being so goofy with taking silly pictures. I figure "You've got a digital camera, it's not wasting film, just take the picture and laugh about it later".
3. We were in the car and I had the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on CD... it makes me laugh like a friggin' hyena... at some point she said "Can we listen to the radio?" I was stunned. Our senses of humour are COMPLETELY different.
4. She's a vegetarian. I'm carnivorous. If we cooked for each other, she'd be able to cook perfectly well and I'd go through beef withdrawal. No meat, no beef, chicken, fish, NONE. If I cooked for her, I'd suck *** because majority of the excellent dishes I make all involve meat in some way. And I enjoy cooking, so it would be a total disaster to me. (Word from the wise, chicks dig a guy who can cook... if you can cook something that has a very exotic sounding name [anything Italian], can pronounce it properly, and it actually tastes good, they will melt like buttah.)
5. We haven't been seeing each other longer than two months, and she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her I didn't need anything for Christmas because she's in school and she can't afford it. I was thinking "Whoa. Hold on. I can't expect you to get me anything, we haven't even figured out if we're 'official' yet!" I mean, a card is great, get me a Christmas card if we've been seeing each other for two months, not a gift." Methinks she's progressing faster than the relationship itself is... as in "There's no relationship yet".
It seems we're attracted to each other only physically. This has got to be mutual. I cannot imagine any reason other than that for her to be attracted to me... you've read the above reasons by now, all the differences with no similarities, how can she like me for anything more than looks and the fact that I'm a nice, intelligent, level headed guy? I think she's very good looking, smart, cute in her mannerisms, and let's face it, we have a lot of fun when the lights go out. But that cannot be all there is in a relationship.
I'm gonna have to end this one, and chalk it up to experience. You cannot change anyone, PERIOD. Unless they want to change for themselves.
Presently, if any of you saw the thread I made about living near the mountains, you saw the girl I'm presently seeing. Very attractive girl. And she's incredibly nice, pleasant personality, etc.
However, I've found since we've been spending more time together that... well... we have absolutely nothing in common!:
1. I can listen to anything, but I prefer rock music. She listens to Rick Dees Top Forty type stuff (which I am NOT a fan of), and it always seems that her preference will win over mine every time... this is referenced later.
2. I'm a bit of a fun-loving goof, and she seems to be a bit more reserved. Like I said, I had to 'convince' her to pose in front of the stupid bear at the gift shop. She was wondering why I was being so goofy with taking silly pictures. I figure "You've got a digital camera, it's not wasting film, just take the picture and laugh about it later".
3. We were in the car and I had the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on CD... it makes me laugh like a friggin' hyena... at some point she said "Can we listen to the radio?" I was stunned. Our senses of humour are COMPLETELY different.
4. She's a vegetarian. I'm carnivorous. If we cooked for each other, she'd be able to cook perfectly well and I'd go through beef withdrawal. No meat, no beef, chicken, fish, NONE. If I cooked for her, I'd suck *** because majority of the excellent dishes I make all involve meat in some way. And I enjoy cooking, so it would be a total disaster to me. (Word from the wise, chicks dig a guy who can cook... if you can cook something that has a very exotic sounding name [anything Italian], can pronounce it properly, and it actually tastes good, they will melt like buttah.)
5. We haven't been seeing each other longer than two months, and she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her I didn't need anything for Christmas because she's in school and she can't afford it. I was thinking "Whoa. Hold on. I can't expect you to get me anything, we haven't even figured out if we're 'official' yet!" I mean, a card is great, get me a Christmas card if we've been seeing each other for two months, not a gift." Methinks she's progressing faster than the relationship itself is... as in "There's no relationship yet".
It seems we're attracted to each other only physically. This has got to be mutual. I cannot imagine any reason other than that for her to be attracted to me... you've read the above reasons by now, all the differences with no similarities, how can she like me for anything more than looks and the fact that I'm a nice, intelligent, level headed guy? I think she's very good looking, smart, cute in her mannerisms, and let's face it, we have a lot of fun when the lights go out. But that cannot be all there is in a relationship.
I'm gonna have to end this one, and chalk it up to experience. You cannot change anyone, PERIOD. Unless they want to change for themselves.
12-15-2006, 12:25 AM
#74
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K, im really mad. I just wrote a ton and then my browser crashed. I'm now going to summarize what I wrote in like 2-3 sentances:
Steph reminds me of her. I would play a good band, and steph would be like "can we listen to my music now?". She also isn't as spontanous as I'd like her to be. K I wrote a whole lot more, but now I'm lazy.
Steph reminds me of her. I would play a good band, and steph would be like "can we listen to my music now?". She also isn't as spontanous as I'd like her to be. K I wrote a whole lot more, but now I'm lazy.