You know you're an idiot when..
12-04-2006, 12:52 AM
#17
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Im just going to do one of these stories a day. It would take up a whole thread trying to list them all. But here is another classic of mine.
70ish year old woman comes into my work, complaining of her tire leaking. I walk out to her car and the first thing I notice is a longgg fresh scrape across the drivers front fender, she obviously had never seen it and asks if someone had hit her car (she had been there all of 15 seconds)
I said no ma'am. (I later found out, she had hit her garage door wall) but thats not even the funniest part.
So, I went to check the tire. (its flat by now) So I pump it up, and I see mulitple leaks in a line across the tread of the tire... and I walk inside to talk to her. I tell her there is about 10-12 punctures in her tire, and if she has any idea how she did this. She plainly replies, "Could it be from running over a rake?" I had to keep from laughing and replied 'yes'. She then asks "Can you patch it?" :banghead:
70ish year old woman comes into my work, complaining of her tire leaking. I walk out to her car and the first thing I notice is a longgg fresh scrape across the drivers front fender, she obviously had never seen it and asks if someone had hit her car (she had been there all of 15 seconds)
I said no ma'am. (I later found out, she had hit her garage door wall) but thats not even the funniest part.So, I went to check the tire. (its flat by now) So I pump it up, and I see mulitple leaks in a line across the tread of the tire... and I walk inside to talk to her. I tell her there is about 10-12 punctures in her tire, and if she has any idea how she did this. She plainly replies, "Could it be from running over a rake?" I had to keep from laughing and replied 'yes'. She then asks "Can you patch it?" :banghead:
12-04-2006, 01:18 AM
#19
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Well here it goes.. This might be long cus theres a few different convos..
In my English class last year I met this dude that I call "Nerd" for the fact he looks like a damn Nerd.. Anyways when I met him he owned this like grandma car (cant remember what it is right now). Since last year he has told me that he got a Mustang GT, decided to sell it and buy a Camaro V6.. Goin on to sell that and buying a Tiburon.. I have no idea if he has had any of these cars because I have never seen them, or never have seen a picture of them (at his house). And everytime I go up and talk to him his car is for some reason "In The Shop". So I just believe him that hes tellin me the truth about the cars..
He has wanted to race me ever since I have bought the Z28 but I don't really wanna drive 45 minutes to waste my time with a Tiburon.. So we got to talkin one day and he kept going on and on about how fast his Tiburon is and how much stuff he is going to do to it. So hes saying that hes gonna put this supercharger on it that will give him 350 hp along w/ his exhaust and intake.. I was just like.. "Uhh whatever.. What supercarger adds 150 hp?" Iv never heard of one addin that much power.. But anyways.. So I was like "ok, you put that charger in your car and I will go to Lingenfelter and have them put a twin turbo in my car." We he told me that his car would still beat mine because his is a manual and mines an automatic.. I just laugh and hope he is kidding... Then he told me he could easly take me because he has 3 bottles of Nos in his car.. I laugh again..
Well last night I was talking to him again. Makin fun of him because he turned down racin my friends base model Cobalt.. lol So when I was talkin to him he was makin fun of the Cobalt. So I told him that my friend put a twin turbo in it.. He thinks im liein, which I am but whatever.. He says that his exhaust and intaked car could beat a twin turbo'd Cobalt now.. lol After I just sit and make fun of him he tells me that he just had new gears installed so it would be easy to beat that twin turbo'd Cobalt.. At this point I shared my convo with Justin so he could have a good laugh..
So it basicly comes down to he thinks because his car is a manual and it has different gears, he could beat any car on the road.. I found this funny as hell.. BTW he blocked me on AIM now because after Justin made fun of him he wasnt to happy anymore..
In my English class last year I met this dude that I call "Nerd" for the fact he looks like a damn Nerd.. Anyways when I met him he owned this like grandma car (cant remember what it is right now). Since last year he has told me that he got a Mustang GT, decided to sell it and buy a Camaro V6.. Goin on to sell that and buying a Tiburon.. I have no idea if he has had any of these cars because I have never seen them, or never have seen a picture of them (at his house). And everytime I go up and talk to him his car is for some reason "In The Shop". So I just believe him that hes tellin me the truth about the cars..
He has wanted to race me ever since I have bought the Z28 but I don't really wanna drive 45 minutes to waste my time with a Tiburon.. So we got to talkin one day and he kept going on and on about how fast his Tiburon is and how much stuff he is going to do to it. So hes saying that hes gonna put this supercharger on it that will give him 350 hp along w/ his exhaust and intake.. I was just like.. "Uhh whatever.. What supercarger adds 150 hp?" Iv never heard of one addin that much power.. But anyways.. So I was like "ok, you put that charger in your car and I will go to Lingenfelter and have them put a twin turbo in my car." We he told me that his car would still beat mine because his is a manual and mines an automatic.. I just laugh and hope he is kidding... Then he told me he could easly take me because he has 3 bottles of Nos in his car.. I laugh again..
Well last night I was talking to him again. Makin fun of him because he turned down racin my friends base model Cobalt.. lol So when I was talkin to him he was makin fun of the Cobalt. So I told him that my friend put a twin turbo in it.. He thinks im liein, which I am but whatever.. He says that his exhaust and intaked car could beat a twin turbo'd Cobalt now.. lol After I just sit and make fun of him he tells me that he just had new gears installed so it would be easy to beat that twin turbo'd Cobalt.. At this point I shared my convo with Justin so he could have a good laugh..
So it basicly comes down to he thinks because his car is a manual and it has different gears, he could beat any car on the road.. I found this funny as hell.. BTW he blocked me on AIM now because after Justin made fun of him he wasnt to happy anymore..
12-04-2006, 01:19 AM
#20
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Originally Posted by Phate
Im just going to do one of these stories a day. It would take up a whole thread trying to list them all. But here is another classic of mine.
70ish year old woman comes into my work, complaining of her tire leaking. I walk out to her car and the first thing I notice is a longgg fresh scrape across the drivers front fender, she obviously had never seen it and asks if someone had hit her car (she had been there all of 15 seconds) I said no ma'am. (I later found out, she had hit her garage door wall) but thats not even the funniest part.
So, I went to check the tire. (its flat by now) So I pump it up, and I see mulitple leaks in a line across the tread of the tire... and I walk inside to talk to her. I tell her there is about 10-12 punctures in her tire, and if she has any idea how she did this. She plainly replies, "Could it be from running over a rake?" I had to keep from laughing and replied 'yes'. She then asks "Can you patch it?" :banghead:
70ish year old woman comes into my work, complaining of her tire leaking. I walk out to her car and the first thing I notice is a longgg fresh scrape across the drivers front fender, she obviously had never seen it and asks if someone had hit her car (she had been there all of 15 seconds)
I said no ma'am. (I later found out, she had hit her garage door wall) but thats not even the funniest part.So, I went to check the tire. (its flat by now) So I pump it up, and I see mulitple leaks in a line across the tread of the tire... and I walk inside to talk to her. I tell her there is about 10-12 punctures in her tire, and if she has any idea how she did this. She plainly replies, "Could it be from running over a rake?" I had to keep from laughing and replied 'yes'. She then asks "Can you patch it?" :banghead:
12-04-2006, 01:33 AM
#21
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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Added to my above post.. I just talked to him on AIM now..
Me: why wouldnt u race mase
Me: he was ready
Him: drop it
Me: u were scared
Him: dude stop ok
Him: im not scared of a fake colbalt turbo
Me: not fake buddy
Him: how much hp does he have
Me: he used the money that he made at GM to do it
Me: dunno he never dyno'd it
Him: turbos are gay anyway
Him: ****** blow off valves suck anyway
Him: i hate them
Me: gay?
Him: just drop it im going to bed
Him: i like my car the way it is...ill get the S/C soon enough..... u wanna diss it thats cool
Him: just keep it to urself
Him: u know wut i could do?
Me: nope i dont
Him: since u wanna name urs the black pearl, i could always name mine the flying dutchman hm?
Him: haha
Me: no that would be dumb.. dont copy my idea
Him: oh hush
Him: i have the movie and it dont even come out till tues
Me: u could make it the slow dutchman
Him: so shush
Him: w.e. the only thing i got is 6 gears
Him: so there
Me: why wouldnt u race mase
Me: he was ready
Him: drop it
Me: u were scared
Him: dude stop ok
Him: im not scared of a fake colbalt turbo
Me: not fake buddy
Him: how much hp does he have
Me: he used the money that he made at GM to do it
Me: dunno he never dyno'd it
Him: turbos are gay anyway
Him: ****** blow off valves suck anyway
Him: i hate them
Me: gay?
Him: just drop it im going to bed
Him: i like my car the way it is...ill get the S/C soon enough..... u wanna diss it thats cool
Him: just keep it to urself
Him: u know wut i could do?
Me: nope i dont
Him: since u wanna name urs the black pearl, i could always name mine the flying dutchman hm?
Him: haha
Me: no that would be dumb.. dont copy my idea
Him: oh hush
Him: i have the movie and it dont even come out till tues
Me: u could make it the slow dutchman
Him: so shush
Him: w.e. the only thing i got is 6 gears
Him: so there
12-04-2006, 02:12 AM
#23
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Originally Posted by squirrelishere
Well, here's one for you guys. I work at Cingular Wireless. A customer one time came in said his cell phone was broken. I asked what was broken about it(since it didn't look cracked), and he said...AND I QUOTE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..."You broke it, so fix it." I have never seen this guy in my life. I told him I don't fix cell phones(what else can you say?). So I ask him for his cell number so I can look up his account to see if he has insurance. He says "It's all in your computer. Why do I have to tell you my number if it's all in your computer?".......... O_o.......
12-04-2006, 06:43 AM
#24
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Originally Posted by ryann
im glad you made this thread b/c i was gonna post somethin about it. Today my dad and i were hanging up christmas lights. and the girl next door (shes 21) walks out and ask us if we're hanging xmas lights this year. i looked at her in disbeliefe and replyed with. "nope". that was a heres your sign moment.
12-04-2006, 08:23 AM
#25
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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Originally Posted by ryann
im glad you made this thread b/c i was gonna post somethin about it. Today my dad and i were hanging up christmas lights. and the girl next door (shes 21) walks out and ask us if we're hanging xmas lights this year. i looked at her in disbeliefe and replyed with. "nope". that was a heres your sign moment.
12-04-2006, 12:28 PM
#27
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Holmen, WI
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So we actually got a little snow today... Its remarkable how all of a sudden there are no rules to parking. If youre parking in a parking lot with more than 1000 cars, you think you would remember the basics.
1. The parking stalls are rectangular, about 8 feet wide.
2. Parking stalls tend to run vertical... I have yet to see a horizontal parking space inside a group of vertical spaces.
3. Usually you want to try to take up one space.. You know, to be courteous to others.
and 4. Generally, you would usually park evenly with other vehicles around you... Not 10 feet behind them, not diagonally facing them, not 2" from their door.
Thats my idiot of the day so far... everyone who parked in my colleges parking lot. ******* geniouses.
1. The parking stalls are rectangular, about 8 feet wide.
2. Parking stalls tend to run vertical... I have yet to see a horizontal parking space inside a group of vertical spaces.
3. Usually you want to try to take up one space.. You know, to be courteous to others.
and 4. Generally, you would usually park evenly with other vehicles around you... Not 10 feet behind them, not diagonally facing them, not 2" from their door.
Thats my idiot of the day so far... everyone who parked in my colleges parking lot. ******* geniouses.
12-05-2006, 01:39 AM
#29
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Cicero, IL
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All right guys, here's a blonde moment that happened at work today. I kid you not guys, there is a slab of ICE in front of our store. It snowed and since a few cars stayed parked when the plows came, they left a patch of snow. Drive over it a few times and it turns to a slab of ice. People around my work neighborhood drive like idiots. So today it was slip and slide day. You could see cars SLIDING after they parked cuz they brake hard since they're in a hurry to go to the dang DOLLAR STORE. Cars are parked at an angle(you would figure just by the way they're parked, that's the direction to drive towards in a 1 lane parking lot).
So this idiot comes zooming down heading the wrong way. Cuts off 2 people trying to get out and cuts another lady(with her signal) and parks in that spot. Well............. the guy ZOOMS into the spot in REVERSE!!! And well... let's just say, the slab of ice won. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the guy got a yelling, quite a few tickets/reports, will more than likely have to pay for the damages to the 2 cars he hit after sliding in the parking spot, the damages to his car(bumper smashed/air bag deployed), aaaaaaand getting his car out of the pound.
Lovely day that guy had huh? =)
So this idiot comes zooming down heading the wrong way. Cuts off 2 people trying to get out and cuts another lady(with her signal) and parks in that spot. Well............. the guy ZOOMS into the spot in REVERSE!!! And well... let's just say, the slab of ice won. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the guy got a yelling, quite a few tickets/reports, will more than likely have to pay for the damages to the 2 cars he hit after sliding in the parking spot, the damages to his car(bumper smashed/air bag deployed), aaaaaaand getting his car out of the pound.
Lovely day that guy had huh? =)
12-05-2006, 01:41 AM
#30
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: North Carolina
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Originally Posted by squirrelishere
All right guys, here's a blonde moment that happened at work today. I kid you not guys, there is a slab of ICE in front of our store. It snowed and since a few cars stayed parked when the plows came, they left a patch of snow. Drive over it a few times and it turns to a slab of ice. People around my work neighborhood drive like idiots. So today it was slip and slide day. You could see cars SLIDING after they parked cuz they brake hard since they're in a hurry to go to the dang DOLLAR STORE. Cars are parked at an angle(you would figure just by the way they're parked, that's the direction to drive towards in a 1 lane parking lot).
So this idiot comes zooming down heading the wrong way. Cuts off 2 people trying to get out and cuts another lady(with her signal) and parks in that spot. Well............. the guy ZOOMS into the spot in REVERSE!!! And well... let's just say, the slab of ice won. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the guy got a yelling, quite a few tickets/reports, will more than likely have to pay for the damages to the 2 cars he hit after sliding in the parking spot, the damages to his car(bumper smashed/air bag deployed), aaaaaaand getting his car out of the pound.
Lovely day that guy had huh? =)
So this idiot comes zooming down heading the wrong way. Cuts off 2 people trying to get out and cuts another lady(with her signal) and parks in that spot. Well............. the guy ZOOMS into the spot in REVERSE!!! And well... let's just say, the slab of ice won. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the guy got a yelling, quite a few tickets/reports, will more than likely have to pay for the damages to the 2 cars he hit after sliding in the parking spot, the damages to his car(bumper smashed/air bag deployed), aaaaaaand getting his car out of the pound.
Lovely day that guy had huh? =)